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Funny Quotes: Page 6This assortment of funny quotes is meaningful and valuable because all of us could use a laugh more often than not. Laughter today is necessary as we try to cope with this economy and the high unemployment problem. Funny quotes are here to simply lighten up the heavy burden that too many people have to deal with on a daily basis. I hope you will appreciate and delight in these quotes! I never said most of the things I said.
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel, and vinyl.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
I cannot sing, dance, or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
I rant, therefore I am.
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